It’s been eighteen months to the day since my mom died.

You can read about Jane Pak here. She was incredible and you would have loved her.

Today I just wanted to show you the Canon FTb and the Canon New F-1 that she bought for me when I was a young high school photographer in 1985. These were the most expensive gifts anyone had ever given to me, and they’re a tremendous tribute to her love and faith in me and my potential.

My mom taught me how to shoot with a Canon FTb. The New F-1 is a more advanced camera, but it’s built on the same foundation. Both cameras feel like home, and every time I pick them up, without even consciously thinking, my fingers and eyes and nervous system remember all my mom’s lessons about framing and timing and quiet observation and being fully present in the moment.

I’m prone to worrying too much about everything. But when I hold these cameras, I know what to do and how to do it. I know where these cameras came from and what they represent. I feel like myself, or the myself that I know I can be.

Hold your loved ones close.

And believe in the faith of the people who believe in you.